I Smell Spring!

The anticipation of spring always has me rather giddy! This year is no exception. I love the smell of freshly mowed spring grass. You can almost smell the chlorophyll exploding from the ground!

The cycle of life has once again raised it's beautiful head!

The Story of the Fly Swatter

There is a girl in my class that causes problems often. Very often. In about nine weeks, give or take, she will graduate (yes, there is a God!). She is mad at me. No biggy. (Sometimes, I think they see who draws the short straw before they come to school on that one. )

However she is mad because I stopped her from going to chorus. Not because I didn't want her to go, but because she faked a fainting spell. (It's not like everyone in the world loves our kids! Then, to have them pull a trick like that??!!!??). After an adequate time of punishment, I got her back in the class only to have her begin to 'phone stalk' the teacher. (Ooopppsss... that a biggy!) She is out! Her high school musical career is over! Only to have really 'phone stalk' the teacher again! Ugly text messages, photos (stop and think for minute here..... do you remember what kind of class I teach?). The teacher had to get a new cell number. A few weeks ago, the girl asked to go to the restroom and came up missing. I found her upstairs in the gym. She was on her way to see the chorus teacher. (This is where you insert a picture of Jackie blowing her top!)

OK, so after what I consider enough punishment, I was going to let her have a 'life' (this just means she can be with other people in the classroom...), I was going to give her a little freedom, starting today. Then, this morning, I am summoned by another student about what this girl brought to school with her. Are you ready? A fly swatter. WTF?

Me: Why did you bring a fly swatter to school?

Her: Because I want to smack you with it!

For sale: One very used fly swatter that's good for smacking.

Newsflash: One very, pissed of girl that has little or no freedom!

Somber Reflection

In light of the present financial crisis, it's interesting to read what Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:

"Banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. "

Just another day...

Boy (rubbing stomach after PE): My stomach hurts.

Me: What do you think is wrong?

Boy (still rubbing): I think I'm pregnant.

Me (w/ eyes wide): Oh? Why do you think that?

Boy (still rubbing and face all scrunched in pain): 'Cause my tummy hurts so bad. I think I'm pregnant with puppies.

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.

Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true. No bull!" exclaims Daisy.

Parenting Day

Yep, it's parenting day here at school.

I've never really decided exactly what that means.

Well.... actually, I have, but it never works as exactly as it was designed to work.

It is actually for parents to come to school to see why their little gen ed darlin's are making all F's or I's because they (parents) have asked them (students) if they have finished homework. Yes, of course they have. It's 10:15 on a school night and the family just got in from a ___________ (you fill in the blank with whatever activity goes with the season). Ok. I know. It's just my POV. But, just please remember, this is probably the only time the parents and teachers communicate. If the parents show up. Maybe.

HOWEVER....

Down here (ok, it may sound a little derogatory, but we are located on the very south side of the school and it's a great area!), I communicate with my parents every week. IEP season has it's big kick-off next week and the assessments for my 11th graders begin the next week. We communicate all the time. And a great number of parents usually come. And the conversation goes a little like this:
ME: HI! It's good to see you again Mr./Mrs. ___________! What did you have on your mind today?
PARENTS: I'm just here because that paper said to come. Isn't this a meeting?
ME: Yes, it is for parents to express their concerns. What concern did you have for (student)?
PARENTS: No concern. I thought you wanted to see me.
ME: Everything is great! I'll be sending home a purposed meeting notice very soon for that yearly IEP!

This time, I nipped it in the bud. I got in touch with parents and asked what concerns they had in order for me to be prepared to answer their questions. I got most of them cancelled! They don't call me a special ed teacher for nothing!

"DON'T CALL ME A YOU!"

Yep, that's the wonderful world of autism. If you have ever dealt with it, many times you are left wondering, "WTF?" And then, slowly, there is an awakening inside your brain. It clicks and you are left looking like you coulda had a V8. THAT'S what it means!!

For many, many months, I have been trying to figure out what "DON'T CALL ME A YOU!" and "YOU!! YOU'RE A YOU CALLER!!!" means exactly. Actually, it's rather difficult to think when someone taller and larger than you is going 90 to nothing and screaming the above phrases at the top of their lungs.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I did the V8 thingy and figured it out. It is so simple!

One day, I was in my classroom and a couple of the aides were supervising clean-up outside my door. I heard one of them say, "You need to clean the windows." "DON'T CALL ME A YOU, YOU YOU CALLER!" was the reply. Duh.

So, if you ever hear someone calling you a 'YOU CALLER' you will know what it means!

Who's That Knockin' On My Door?

This post is dedicated to Patrick, Jimmy, Jimmy, Shithead, and Mary. I've missed you guys, too!

What's new in my life? Well, I have been getting to know my new step-mum and she isn't so bad. It's just new. I now have 2 brothers, one of which I've never met. I have 2 new sisters. Unlike my sister and me, they have kids. I think there are about 7 nieces and nephews. I only really know one boy and one girl.

Early in January I began working on my masters in special education. The first class is just a week shy of being complete. One down, and ten more to go! YIPPEE!

The kids at school are doing great. Can you believe this school year is almost 3/4 gone? I'm ready for summer to be here. Not the heat, but just summer. Let me know if you figure out how to get one without the other! Warm is ok... say 75-90 is good. Anything over 90 requires a one of those basting bags.

Well, if i can just remember the password for my journal, I might write more. It has been awhile and I have missed it. Actually, I've missed you people. Here's to a new beginning!